Basic actions are a challenge during this time. For some time the office has been the only place I approach adequate functionality. So as I consider my current condition, I think about -- as I so often do -- what kind of symbolic action I can take to shake things up.
Because apparently the start of a new decade isn't laden with sufficient promise on it's own.
Anyway, short of getting a new tattoo (which would be fun), I'm at a loss. By missing last year's window of change (in other words, by not trusting my foresight of it two years ago), I have left myself in this place.
This is not necessarily a bad thing, because the new target in my sights, which for the first time doesn't feel unachievable, is something of a dream come true, so perhaps closing that window has opened a door.
Meanwhile, I need to focus on finding ways to manage my current daily demands, while preparing for the next stage. I feel too weak to do this, and finding the strength to at least begin is why I long for a symbolic boost. As Mark Pauline says, whatever works is legitimate. But fear of unbalancing my comforting stability keeps me timid. Meanwhile, not doing so keeps me in a discouraging malaise.
Some days, music helps.
No comments:
Post a Comment